6 Days Left Til August

I feel a little overwhelmed right now. Imagine how fast the month of May ended, then it's suddenly June, I remembered mentioning May several times even though it was June already, then comes July, and I can't pretty imagine, 6 days left and it's August. 

How insane the time is, when you are taking it slow to savor the moment and enjoy the happiness and peace, it will run so fast. And when you need to rush things out, or when you are in the torturous moment that slowly kills you, time will suddenly go so slow like it's telling you "take it easy, darling, I'll make you suffer more". Hey Time, what I need right now, is to make my life right. But it seems I'm running so slow in a world where you need to be swift. I feel like it flies so fast when I want to think more for good, make a change, correct my lane, be stupid but smart stupid, you know... I just want to be happy, for sure. But I can't undo my past and redo it, or erase the dumb days of my life.

Looking back, when I was young, I felt like I want to be an adult so  I can have a career and reach my dreams and ambition, but when I'm already at this moment, I can't help it, time is running fast and I feel like I haven't accomplished anything at all. I recall, I was 11 and listening to Taylor Swift's "Teardrops In My Guitar" in a cd player and my friends, cousins, and I will sing it to our heart's content even if the lyrics mismatched. And now, I'm staring at the screen, playing her newest "the 1" song in Spotify. I feel so old and sadder. Maybe, life is normal like that. I don't know, but it can't be helped.

Okay, I know, those previous words I said are the negativities running in my head, but of course, I knew in my heart, there's a right time for everything. You know what people say who's living the moment when it's time already, it will come, you will shine, and if it's not, maybe you just have to create new chapters, a better one, don't compare your moments to someone else's spotlight moment, taking it slow, make mistakes but learn from it. Maybe, I just need to wait for more, I just need to ready this present dumb me for tomorrow's big surprise. I am not expecting an extravagant scene or a surprise of a lifetime, I am just waiting for a little, a little change that will make me who I am. 

Even though I'm a little overwhelmed right now, I just want to console myself, live a little more, make mistakes and learn, get up, maybe I don't need to be pressured, I just need to change my mind. 

I hope whoever you are, we seize the day and not be ashamed if others have gone through many chapters and succeed, we can still start over. Let's do it, okay?

Carpe Diem.