How Are You?

This year is like a nightmare.

After waking up from a New Year's Eve, looking forward to some good start, changes, resolutions and excited for many pretty memories, we ended up witnessing a terrible dream, or rather, a harsh reality.
And if ever it's just a terrible dream, when will we ever wake up so we can start our lives right again?
I know, it's pretty bad. The Corona virus causing deaths hitting to almost half a million, it's crazy. Government sucks, people suffers more, and many more turn of events. We were anxious before, and now we're even more anxious, mental health is going bad and affecting us at home. Admit it, not all have a beautiful experience being at home and some bonds and ties are just so hard to mend. We all led different lives.

It will also come to a point that we think, what if tomorrow will never come again? What if we don't see our friends in a long, long time? Will we ever find a good job and chase our dreams? Will we ever get married and find the one? Will our parents be there forever? What if we will never see our families again? Will we ever travel far and visit foreign countries? And the beaches, mountains, beautiful scenery, camping, bonfires, laughter, a lone moment in coffee shops? Will we ever do that normally again someday with people we love and without worries? Crazy and hopeful thoughts.

I'm still madly hoping. I still miss before, the old times. I was so excited to move forward but I really miss it, a trip down memory lane. I know there's no such thing as forever, everything changes, people leave, the normal things we do is no longer normal. Maybe, the reason I'm saying this is because, nothing is ever certain in my life, and ofcourse everybody's lives. We suffer in our own ways and sometimes we just don't want everybody to see it.

If I could just peek into the mind of people I love and see what worries them and so I can find a way to ease the pain or share the pain, but I am no super hero, I can't even save myself from my own worries, but sometimes, I do, I guess I'm a lone survivor. But I'm glad that I'm fine, I'm fine like how Ross says that in "Friends".

I really hope whoever you are reading this, I hope you too, is doing well. Life is really tough and unpredictable at times, I always say this and it's becoming cliche... that it's okay not to be okay.
I so often romanticize that sentence coz I wanted to tell my own heart that even if I'm in pain and broke, I am not a nothing and undeserving, I am not a "not good enough", that I'm okay even if I fail a hundred and stand up a few times. We are not always strong and we are often vulnerable, most people are just good at hiding the sufferings they endure. And if no one tell you this, I am proud of you. I am proud you keep going and keep moving forward. I wish someday, everything will get better. A lot of things will still happen but please hold on. Imagine this year like a movie where in you are the lead and there are so many hindrances, but after all the plot twists, in the end, there's a more beautiful resolution.

I hope we'll get through this life. I believe in you.

Hang in there.

Looking forward someday to more beautiful memories.