the overwhelming adulting phase

 back me up on this, i know i'm not the one feeling this way...

gone are the days of our youth, those times where we just enjoy life the way we want to, gone are the days where we don't worry much about bills and have our knees be bruised from all the fun we did outdoors with our friends in the yard, in the river, or somewhere else, and our parents are still young and strong. when i was young, i used to think that those days will never end, that the happy times will always be there in the corner, always within my reach, but poof! after graduating from college, i thought i can be so used to being adult, i can always be free and do all i want without my parents restricting me coz i have the means to go away once i get  my "dream job", but hell yeah,  my planned life was never my destiny, it's all a roller coaster life ride. whenever i look back on the first year of my corporate work, it was mostly days of wonderment, of confusion, of deciding where i want to be. i was always sad, well, tho, you can't really tell i'm sad coz i always have this bubbly attitude with the people around me. after my work in the BPO industry, it's just that i'm always feeling that i'm lacking something, something missing about me, this could be passion, motivation, inspiration, and a vision of me.

i'm like a walking question mark, looking for answers everywhere i go. 

I know it's just not your profession that defines your purpose in life, but also, the core of your being, what do I want in life, why do I constantly felt like a hole is so deep inside me i can't fathom what it wants. 

there are still days of sadness, loneliness, confusion, of staring blankly ahead, up until now.

but then, i know i've got to keep going, that there's still a fire burning in my heart,  there's still passion i needed to relive. i'll still keep on moving forward...

no matter how tough it is to live, i'll get used to it slowly and surely, i know life's not a one way street, there are so many roads leading me somewhere, and i might be lost too most of the time so that i'll understand and learn where i'm really going.

life's a bitch, it is 101% true, but i will always be a fighter, i will still choose to stand when i fall and got a lot of emotional bruises.

i will still keep on going. 

repeat.