Dear Anxious Self

hey,

how are you? you did a great job! you are falling apart but you are holding on, even to things and situations that you wanted to escape from. how did you even do that? I thought, we will give up, that you and I will quit in this battle, your heart and your mind are messing up each other. I wonder how you keep following your overthinking mind, the negatives,  the " I wanna give up" thoughts sometimes. Sometimes, I wanna remind you, self, please listen to your heart sometimes. It wants you to feel, cry, let it all go, no matter how hard. hey self, you are enough. even if this world sometimes is all chaos and hopelessness. even when they all turned cold.

i know sometimes, you want to be needed to, the desire to be loved and accepted for whatever the mess you are, but you know, we can't force people to do that. you can't force one person dear to you to stay, to miss you, text you good morning and good night, to tell you you are beautiful... but it's exhausting. it's exhausting to craved to be loved, you want it to be natural, so you ignore the small talks, the bad intentions, false signals, it's better to be alone than to be with people who never really care, who only sees you as temporary nothing. let's avoid those people, those aren't healthy and it's not good for your soul who only needs a sanctuary. 

hey self, please love yourself a little more.

i hope you keep fighting.

no matter what.. you and i will be together,

no matter how great the pain and fear.

i am proud of you.

xoxo,

love lots,

- yourself, who's feeling weak right now.