i am letting go

 sometimes, i feel like i don't fit anywhere no matter where i run to, there's no genuine arms to hold and tell me, "it's okay, honey, you are worth the wait, worth my time." all i ever hear in my head are pretend love and pretend care, they weren't really there for me, they weren't there on my tough times, in my times of confusion and uncertainties, i feel just walking in a limbo, all by myself... i have no direction and my destinations are crossroads without signs. 

i'm tired of temporary things, people, moments...i'm tired of it all. i am letting go of these nuisances, i don't need need them in my life. i want assurance, i'm sick of being confused, i'm sick of waiting for some undeclared feelings, i'm sick of a love that's only half or never there but pretending to be there. i'm sick of asking myself, "am i still the one?"  i'm sick of my subconscious constantly reminding me, no he ain't the one, you're his temporary, an option,  past time, a love that's never true, you're not the love of his life, he is not sure about you. i'm tired. i am letting go, for the final time. i am gonna start telling myself everyday, to not hold on anymore, to no wait for something that will never ever come, and to an unsure feeling, i will start reminding myself...if it's for you, they will let you know, they will let you have it felt without you asking them about it. 

i am gonna spend my life starting today without why's. i will be sure about me, choose me, take care of me, love the things before that loved me back, that calls my attention, that wants me and waiting for me, i know they're not in human form, but they were my passion, calling me back, calling me back to love them again and reminding me to never hold on to any person. 

i am letting go.